Life is so tough. Wild thoughts and feelings corrupt my heart and mind. And as much as I tried not to hurt you, i still did. I know I have said it a million times, that i never want to hurt you again, but i still did. I kept pushing it away and tell you everything is alright, nothing is wrong. But you kept forcing me to tell you. I didnt want to, i didnt want to hurt you with the words Im about to say. The more you asked, the more you probed, i felt like my heart ripped apart. I felt so insecure. As we talked deeper into it, i felt so helpless, i didnt want to hurt you further, but i already did. And when i called you and heard you crying on the phone, barely breathing, choking on your words, all i wanted to do was hold you tight and tell you I’ll stay. I wanted so much to hug you so tightly and tell you things will get better. I never wanted to hear that sound of your shivering voice again. I just miss you so much and i need you so much closer. And im so thankful to have you in my life, for someone to love me and be there for me in whatever im going through.
Things are just gonna get tougher as time goes by, insecurities are gonna eat you up, but i promise, i’ll never give up on you, i promise i will never let you go. I will keep assuring you over and over again, and ensure that you know I love you and i’ll never leave.
I hope things will get better and we will walk this journey together, with your hands in mine, holding on tight, never letting go.
I love you so much baby, i hope you know.